I Don't Want to Feel Afraid Anymore

I think I have felt anxious and afraid my entire life. As a child I was terrified of my parents and throughout adulthood I have been afraid. I've been incarcerated for almost 50 years and spent the entire time waiting for someone to hurt me, kill me, berate me, or find me unacceptable, at the very least. Others would describe me as a quiet, confident loner. Only I have always known that inside I'm cowering in the corner with my hands raised to ward off the expected blows. I am 67 now. If only I could get a little freedom from my inner self before I pass. Shame and rejection are another whole chapter I could add to this... but many people have had it tougher yet coped with it better. At least I get to write... and I write books from prison about life in prison under the pseudonym of James Dollar. I have only a handful of sales but my writing is good. It must be the topic. Please buy my books if you can afford it.